I-DESOLATIO

Je n'aime pas ma vie.Je ne l'ai jamais aimé,enfin si.
Mais c'est une époque révolue qui remonte a bien loin.
Le manque d'amour pèse en moi,comme jamais.
Mais l'amour,ce sentiment si réconfortant qu'on les couples,
les personnes amoureuses,les filles,les garçons,les femmes et les hommes,
je ne l'aie encore jamais connue.
C'est dur de se dire qu'on aime quelqu'un,mais que ce n'est pas réciproque,
que cette personne ne vous connait pas,qu'elle ne veut pas,qu'elle ne vous aime pas.
Vous m'avez bien compris,c'est le fait d'être amoureuse,d'un passant,
dont vous n'avez aucune idée de la personne qu'il est,de son nom,ou même de son âge,
je parle aussi de ces gens qui vous voyez tous les jours,qui fréquentent les mêmes amis que vous,
on a envie de leur dire "hey oh,je suis là.Silteplaît aime-moi,je pense être assez jolie pour te plaire,
assez mature pour te comprendre,je ne suis pas comme les autres filles"
On a tendance a en rajouter,même a mentir,toutes les filles disent qu'elles ne sont pas comme les autres,
mais c'est encore une généralité.
Parfois des garçons vous aimes , on de réels sentiments pour vous.
Mais ce n'est pas réciproque là non plus,
ces garçons sont vos amis,et vous voulez qu'il le reste.
Leur démarches était trop faible,pas assez imposantes,
et ce ne sont pas des garçons faits pour vous,que vous recherchez.
Mais je vous assure,qu'au fil du temps,ce garçon vous paraît mieux.
Vous vous sentez tellement seul que vous commencez a l'apprécier,
alors vous n'arrêtez pas de penser a lui,
vous vous demandez comment ça aurait été si vous seriez sortis ensemble,
vous rêvez a un couple parfait,on va même jusqu'à penser qu'on peut le changer,
alors qu'on sait très bien que c'est impossible,
et dire que j'allais me servir de lui.
En effet,il n'aurais que combler le vide qui est dans mon c½ur,
mais disons hypocritement,car vous ne l'aimez pas.
Dans ses bras,on j'aurai penser a un autre,et un autre,et un autre,et un autre,
tout en cherchant le garçon parfait,que vous pourriez corriger,protéger,câliner,aimer.
En-fait,même ce garçon a aujourd'hui finit par me rendre jalouse,
pas parce-que sa copine est meilleur,plus belle que moi,
certains me dise que c'est faux,mais du fait qu'il soit en couple,contrairement a moi.
Je lui donnerais tout l'amour que j'aie,et lui tout l'amour dont j'ai toujours eu besoin dans ma vie,
mais que personne n'a pu me donner a plein temps.
Alors on se met a fantasmer sur des personnes célèbres,des idoles,des garçons qui ont l'air parfait a nos yeux,
qu'on croit connaître a travers les magazines,les clips,les photos,les vidéos,les fictions,
on croit même percevoir leur caractère,les connaître par-c½ur à l'expression de son visage sur une photo,
mais ce garçon là,on ne le connait pas du tout,ni son caractère,parfois ni son véritable nom,
et cette fois,ça ne peut qu'être réciproque.
On se dit que cette idole,on va la rencontrer,on se fait des films avec lui,on en rêve beaucoup,
on se dit que qu'importe si vous êtes célibataire,c'est parce-que c'est lui le prochain,
vous l'attendez,et lui aussi.Il n'est là que pour vous faire rêver.
Je trouve séduisant Tom Kaulitz ,
rien que le nom du groupe auquel il appartient serait une raison pour que beaucoup vous déteste,
vous trouve trop "gamine",ou alors complètement stupide,bref vous devenez solitaire,
je ne connais pas beaucoup de personne qui partage mon avis.
C'est sans doute honteux,mais c'est tout ce a quoi je peux encore m'attacher un peu.
Je croyais et je crois d'ailleurs toujours pouvoir le rencontrer,je pris parfois pour qu'il me voit et qu'il m'aime,
j'écris son nom a côté du miens pour voir si ça fait jolie.
Après tout,ce n'est que de l'esthétique ,c'est le seul brin d'herbe auquel je peux me cramponner avec mes ongles.
Je ne suis pas la gamine que vous croyez,si vous aussi pensez ça,aussi peu que vous soyez,
et le peu que je vous connaisse,vous me décevez .
Je n'ai pas la même histoire,chacun a sa vie,
la mienne est différente,j'ai vécu en Allemagne,j'y ait passé les plus beaux et les meilleurs moments de ma vie,
il me refait penser a ces souvenirs vécus dans mon enfance,a tout ce que j'ai perdu là-bas,
et au peu que je retrouve ici.
J'ai 17 ans,je suis mannequin et lycéenne médiocre,célibataire.
I-DESOLATIO

# Posté le vendredi 12 juin 2009 13:19

Modifié le samedi 13 juin 2009 06:46

II-ARDUS

Ce matin,je me suis réveillé tard,comme tous les samedi,depuis que je ne travaille plus ce jours-ci.
J'ai fait un rêve étrange,mais dans lequel je me sentais tellement bien.
Ce rêve n'avait pas tellement de sens,et je ne m'en souviens plus très bien.
Je suis entré avec une personne dont je ne reconnais plus le visage ni la voix,dans une maison,
une maison tellement belle,
cette maison n'était pas comme les autres,dès qu'on y rentrais,on voyais en face de nous une énorme fenêtre,
il n'y avait pas de mur sur ce côté-ci,mais une grande vitre qui donnait sur l'extérieur,un extérieur magnifique qu'on voyait de haut.Collé a cette vitre,une baignoire,comme toue les autres.
Prendre un bain devant un si beau paysage devait être tellement agréable,
mais je n'aie pas eu ce plaisir.
En face,il y avait un lit,un lit pour deux personnes avec des draps blancs brodés de fils rouge et bleu sur les deux coussins je crois.
Je commence a douter de ma description,mais continuons.
A droite,il y avait un escalier de trois marche,qui donnait a une grande porte.
Cette porte donnait à une petite salle,
je ne me souviens plus très bien de cette salle,mais je sais qu'à l'intérieur il y avait un petit placard où deux personnes pouvait se cacher.
Je crois que l'on fuyait quelque-chose,
je me souviens aussi d'avoir traversé,puis m'être assise ou allongé dans un très petit couloir qui montait en pente,fleuris de véritables fleur,il y en avait de toute sortie,elles sentait tellement bons.
C'est tout ce dont je me souviens.
Je ne sais pas si ce rêve doit avoir une signification ou pas.
Mais pourquoi?
II-ARDUS

# Posté le samedi 13 juin 2009 05:51

Modifié le samedi 13 juin 2009 06:15

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# Posté le lundi 15 juin 2009 11:12

Modifié le mardi 23 juin 2009 05:14

III-INCENIS

III-INCENIS
Je suis a bout.
De tout,je ne ressent plus rien.
Tant mieux,ma haine pour lui sera plus énorme.
Je ne pense plus,je ne dis plus,je ne ris plus.
J'ai supprimé facebook,y passera-tu aussi?
J'entends des choses,que je n'ai jamais entendu.
Mon imagination me joue encore et toujours ses tours.
Mon futur est indéfinissable,méconnaissable.
Une voyante pourrait-elle m'aider?
Non,trop chère,c'est sûr.
Tellement de projets en tête;mais vais-je y arriver?
Tu est nul,tu ne sert a rien,tu ne sait rien faire a ton âge !
Oui j'ai 17 ans,je ne sais absolument rien foutre,
je n'arrive pas a me lever tôt le matin,
je travaille tout doucement,
je suis aussi lente qu'une drogué au LSD,
je n'arrive plus a rien faire.
Je ne suis pas la fautif c'est vous !
J'étais bien,vous m'avez transformé en monstre!
Je suis morte depuis longtemps,la fille que vous voyez là n'est que mon ombre.
Mon esprit est partit,je veux le retrouver,je l'ai oublié,j'oublie tout,tout le temps,n'importe où.
Je suis conne.Je suis sadique.je suis une grosse gamine.Je me fais plaisir.Je ne pense qu'à moi.Je vous déteste,silvousplaît,sauvez-moi..

inculpābĭlis
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# Posté le mardi 23 juin 2009 04:41

Modifié le mardi 23 juin 2009 05:07

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# Posté le mardi 23 juin 2009 04:45

IV-NOCIBILIS

IV-NOCIBILIS
Etymologiquement, la biologie est l'étude de la vie. Ainsi la biologie regroupe un ensemble de sciences, dites naturelles, telles que la médecine, la zoologie, la physiologie, etc... Comme les êtres vivants sont constitués de la même matière que celle qui constitue l'univers, la biologie fait d'importants emprunts à la chimie et à la physique.

Mais qu'est ce que la vie ? Cette question est plus importante qu'il n'y parait, parce qu'il faudra éventuellement la reconnaitre si l'homme parvient à explorer d'autres planétes que la Terre. Et puis, ici même, certains organismes sont en limite de la vie, tels les virus, doit on les considérer comme vivant ou minéral ?

La définition courante dit que la vie est la capacité qu'a un organisme à se reproduire, respirer et de se nourrir. Cette définition est trop restrictive. Elle exclut déjà toutes les cellules qui fermentent au lieu de respirer, comme par exemple les bactéries anaérobies.

Supprimont alors la nécessité de respirer. Dans ce cas, la définition est trop large. Un cristal par exemple, se reproduit et absorbe des ions dans l'environnement pour sa construction, peut on dire pour autant qu'un cristal est vivant ? Pourtant un végétal effectue exactement ces mêmes actions et lui est considéré comme vivant. A y regarder de plus près, un cristal ne se reproduit pas réellement, il suffit que les bons ions et les bonnes conditions physico-chimiques soient réunies pour qu'il se forme spontanement, alors que la production d'un végétal nécessite la préexistence d'un végétal parent.

La meilleure définition de la vie est thermodynamique, parce qu'elle ne fait aucun préjugé sur la structure et les comportements que doit avoir cette vie. En se basant sur les lois de la thermodynamique, on peut dire que la vie est la capacité à maintenir et à reproduire une structure complexe en dépit de conditions thermodynamiques défavorables. Cela signifie que les êtres vivants existent et se reproduisent alors que les conditions environnementales tendent à dégrader leur structure. Par exemple, la degradation des molécules organique est productrice d'énergie, leur construction en consomme. Laissées à elle même, ces molécules se décomposeraient irrémédiablement.

La vie est donc la capacité qu'ont les molécules et les atomes de s'assembler en structures organisées autoreproductibles. Les phénomènes qui aboutissent à ce résultat sont bien évidemment extrêmement complexes et nous sommes loin de tous les connaître. Les pages qui vont suivre vont tenter d'expliquer certains de ces phénomènes.

Logiquement,qu'est-ce que la vie? A quoi sert-elle?Pourquoi moi?
La vie c'est travailler dur.A toujours travailler.Tu as été choisit,c'est lui.
La vie,il faut en profiter.Tu en fais ce que tu veux.Heureuse élu.
Heureuse?
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# Posté le mardi 23 juin 2009 04:46

V-NEX NECIF

Au fond,je suis une grande sentimentale.
 V-NEX NECIF

# Posté le mercredi 01 juillet 2009 11:23

Modifié le mardi 07 juillet 2009 16:42

VI-ADOLESCENTIA

Je ne sais pas,je ne sais plus.
C'est le fait que je n'ai pas du tout confiance en moi qui fait que je n'arrive a rien.
Soyons réaliste,une mannequin doit avoir confiance en soi.
Mais je suis trop faible,bête,il avait raison.
Mais je ne sais plus quoi faire,je ne veux pas que ça continue comme-ça,
mais c'est ce qui va se passer.
Elle a de la chance,beaucoup de chance.
Elle est pas belle mais radieuse,on l'envie,je l'envie.
Elle pourrait être mon modèle,elle l'est.
Elle est dans la même agence que moi.
Mais elle beaucoup plus belle que moi.
Je ne sais pas si c'est mon inconscience qui parle ou moi.
Je ne sais pas,et au point où j'en suis,je men fiche.
Je suis libre en ce moment,appelez-moi.
J'ai besoin d'être aimé pour exister,d'être admiré,de faire ce que j'aime.
C'est pourquoi j'ai toujours voulu faire partie de ce domaine qu'on appelle la mode.
Comme si mon manque de caractère ne suffisait pas,mes boutons sont la première raison de ce rejet direct
que j'ai vécu la première fois.
Ce philippe disait faux,l'école n'est pas un obstacle pour ce métier,
car l'année dernière,lors d'un casting a tahiti,une jeune lycéenne a été prise,
elle a réussi son bac,et ses photos sont superbes.
Les bouton,mes boutons,ces boutons.
Ils m'emmerderont toujours,c'est hilarant.
Une solution miracle?non,non,non,ça n'existe pas.
Je n'y connais rien,j'ai presque tout essayé et rien n'y fait.
C'est ce qui nous différencie,mes boutons,et son visage aux pores resserrés,un beau visage sans aucune imperfection.Elle a des creux là où il faut,et je ne parle pas de son corps,parfait.
On ose même pas la comparer à moi.
Je ne puis le faire non plus.
Lui aussi l'admire,la trouve charmante et séduisante.
Je l'aime,je l'aimais.
Petit dragueur petit,enfoiré plus grand et footballeur aujourd'hui.
Petit,il m'aimait,m'a écrit un poème,je ne l'ai pas accepté.
Plus grand il me traitait "d'anorexique plus maigre que sa bite",
l'époque du poème était bien loin,révolu,il a dû le brûler,le jeter.
Aujourd'hui,il n'est plus français,sa religion ne nous relie pas du tout.
Il est loin,le beau mâle.Il ne se rappelle plus de mon existence,je suis toujours la même à ses yeux.
Dommage.Il s'amuse,ils se connaissent eux d'eux,ce sera la cliché du couple mannequin-footballeur.
Ce sera car il l'aime bien,ça se remarque à ses messages à lui,je le sais.
J'écris leur historie,c'est triste,c'est dut,c'est débile,c'est un jeu,
Mais je ne suis qu'une gamine qui ne demande qu'à grandir.
 VI-ADOLESCENTIA
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# Posté le samedi 11 juillet 2009 07:07

Modifié le jeudi 16 juillet 2009 05:41

# Posté le samedi 11 juillet 2009 07:42

VII-TENUIS

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I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.
I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.I don't belong here.
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# Posté le samedi 11 juillet 2009 07:56

Modifié le jeudi 16 juillet 2009 05:38